You made a terrible mistake. You ruined a great relationship. You got hurt. Your heart was shattered into pieces after such a terrible heartbreak. You kept on thinking about the person who hurt you. You keep on venerating the person who caused your pain. You keep on telling yourself that it was your fault that’s why you deserve to be punished eternally. You keep on justifying the errors that you did. You just loved, isn’t it? You just enjoyed life, isn’t it? Yet at the end of the day, you feel alone and all the memories flood your brain which makes you cry again. You see the stars abandon the sky and you think that it was also your fault. You keep on blaming yourself because you want to protect that person too.
So, why is it difficult to let go and move on? Why do people tend to hold on to the past even though they knew that all events that occurred before are just a mere history for us to remember? We find it too hard to break away from the chains that tie us up from our failures in life and from all of the not-so-good things that happened to us. We would sometimes wonder why those portions in our lives have to happen. And again we wonder, why can’t people simply move on?
Most people cannot move on because they believe that they invested too much only to end up with nothing. It may seem unacceptable to lose after investing too much. Many will claim that they’ve done everything that they could to maintain their relationship but those efforts are simply not enough. Some people couldn’t just accept that they lost so they invest further even though they knew what will happen next.
We keep on doing things that we know would lead us to immediate happiness because that’s what everyone desires – to feel genuine happiness with other people. Yes, you may love genuinely and unconditionally but have you ever asked whether you are investing in the right person?
Relying too much on emotions will be a problem because when you’ve fallen into that trap, you’ll feel ecstatic. You feel like you’re the happiest person in the entire universe all because you believe that you’ve found someone who can finally stay with you. You’re deeply in love with each other in a way that when your eyes meet, you feel jolts of electricity powering up each nerve in your body. The feeling is intoxicating. And once you’ve found in this situation, you’ll wish that the day would never end.
So how would we know if we are investing in the right person? Well, this takes a lot of discernment. However, when we build every relationship with God, we can be assured that the right person will come in our way. Making God the center of each relationship and allowing Him to let our relationships grow with His love is the perfect way to build an everlasting joy and happiness. Many relationships are bound to fail because they set aside God’s calling. They choose themselves first over God’s will and as a result, that colorful bridge that they created is hollow from the inside. With a weak earthquake, it’s foundations collapse but a relationship built with God is as strong as steel, as elastic as a rubber, and as tenacious as an iron. Relationships built with God are not just bound to succeed but are also bound to grow and flourish. This doesn’t mean that you won’t encounter struggles. There will be slight storms and there will be typhoons but when God is with you, you can survive all of them and that will make you stronger than ever.
Why is it difficult to move on? Perhaps, we’re afraid. Perhaps we fear that we won’t be able to find another person like the way we did with our past Perhaps we are afraid to try again because we knew how painful it is to be hurt. Perhaps we are hesitant to move forward because we are afraid that we have to start over again. These fears prevent us from trying something new. These poison our mind with negativity. These hinder us from finding the happiness that we deserve. Why do we have to be afraid? There’s nothing to lose in doing something new. In fact, we would even gain freedom from being a slave of our past. We may have failed in the past but if we won’t try again, we’re the ones who fail ourselves.
It is difficult to move on because we do not know the time when we should start moving on. There are many people who are engaged in a toxic relationship but they become blinded by love. A love that takes advantage of another person does not love. It is the cruelest form of slavery. True love is beautiful. It is not selfish and it doesn’t take advantage. The sad reality, however, id that many people are not aware of what this really means. That’s the reason why we fail to see when we are already being abused when we are being intolerant when we are being selfish when we focus more on physical attraction rather than the beauty if each other’s soul – we become a prisoner in our own hearts.
We find it difficult to move on because we have created an illusion of perfection whenever we deal with human relationships. Most of us painted an illusion that being with the person you love means perfection and hence when we encounter some distress, we see that it is not perfect in the first place and we find ourselves too naive on how to deal with the imperfections. Thus we end up giving up the relationship that we have and we end up being broken. All types of relationships undergo through crests and troughs. We won’t always have sunny weather. Sometimes, we have to face the giant waves of the seas and we have to carry the heavy boulders of the mountains. Even our spiritual relationship with God Himself have to be tested. What matters most is how we deal with all the obstacles and how these challenges shape us to strengthen ourselves. Above all, it is the struggle that counts.
The only relationship that’s perfect is when we engage with God. Submitting to Him may be difficult at first but once you’ve started to cultivate a relationship with Him, you’ll start to feel genuine happiness embracing your soul. Embrace Him fully and you will find Him cheering you up. You’ll never be alone with God because even though you end up in a barren desert, He will always give us hope, courage, and strength to keep on moving forward as long as we have our faith in Him. You may get exhausted and you may stumble to the ground but that is all part of your restoration. As long as you allow Him to stir the wheels, you will never get to wander alone. The most glorious moment of our life comes when we managed to rise up and continue life even after falling to a dark abyss.
Let go of the past. Let your failures teach you a lesson. Let those heartbreaks strengthen your heart. Let the past mold your soul so that you can live the present. All of our failures are there so we would know how to deal with the present and be prepared on what we will encounter in the future. Do not be a slave of bitter memories. Let them go. Break free and live your life to the fullest. Do not allow the ghosts of the past to haunt you because life is too short to stay forever in a place where there is no growth. You cannot change the past anyway. The road towards the restoration of your wrecked heart may be a long process but be brave and take the first step. No matter how many people will say for you to move, the choice is still ours to make.
Are you going to let yourself be a slave of the past or are you going to move on and let God take charge?